My week has been so busy, I haven’t had time to think of good blog subjects for #PrideLibrary19 and make sure they’re awesome to read for you. But, I remembered that Anniek @ Anniek’s Library had tagged me to do the 30 Days of Pride Tag! I’m so glad that she tagged me, because I know that she has gotten some really really amazing responses and I hope it might do the same for me.
This tag consists of 11 questions based on the colours of the rainbow pride flag and what they symbolise, and Ben added the following rules and notes:
- Credit the original author of the tag — Ace Of Bens
- Make sure you copy and paste these rules and notes at the beginning of the tag.
- Tag as many or as few people as you’d like!
Notes (I’m not sure if Anniek or Ben added this, but I find these notes incredibly important and decided to leave them here).
- This tag originally uses the word “queer” as an umbrella term for the LGBTQ+ community, but you are free to change it to whatever term or abbreviation you are most comfortable with for your own post.
- You don’t have to be out to be proud of who you are. Therefore, you can still do this tag if you aren’t out to everyone you know, as long as you feel comfortable and safe doing it!
- Don’t feel obligated to answer all of these questions or to even do this if you are tagged. I want this to be a fun pride month post, not a source of anxiety for anyone.
- Happy Pride Month!
So let’s get into my answers!!
Who Is Your Favorite Queer Celebrity/Creator Of Color?
I’ve recently started to read more queer authors of color, or at least buy them. I have read small parts of a bunch of books, for couldn’t finish them due to work or other reasons, and started a different book on my ereader in the meantime (because I can take that with me). Right now my favourite queer author of color is Kacen Callender. Others are Nic Stone, Adam Silvera and C.B. Lee!
Name A Piece Of Media (Movie, TV Show, Book, Podcast, Etc.) With Queer Representation That You Admire For Its Overall Diversity.
Two shows I really love that include diversity are Brooklyn Nine-Nine and One Day at a Time. Brooklyn Nine-Nine is probably closer to my heart because it involves a bisexual character, and the actress that plays that character is bisexual herself. I really love they added this aspect, and spent so much time explaining it, and kept coming back to it. I really means a lot to me that bisexual characters are included!
What Are Your Sexual And Romantic Orientations And Gender Identity? (If You’re Comfortable Sharing!)
I’m bisexual. I guess that pretty much sums it up. When talking in English I usually just say queer, mostly because I haven’t had the best experiences when it comes to people responses when saying I’m bisexual.
What Point Of Your Life Were You At When You First Learned About The Queer Community? What Point Were You At When You Realized You Were A Part Of It?
I know The Netherlands is often said to be incredibly accepting towards the queer community, but when I was growing up, there weren’t things like Gay-Straight Alliances or LGBTQ+ clubs or something. I think I ‘rolled’ into it when I joined Tumblr. Everyone there was superaccepting and I think that’s the place I learnt a lot about myself aswell.
I think I’ve always known that the way I looked at girls wasn’t like other people.. but I didn’t right away classify them as more than friendship. Sometimes I still feel like ‘do I want to be them, or do I want to be with them’?
Community Is A Huge Part Of Healing. How Has This Community Helped You Become More Comfortable In Your Own Skin?
I’ve struggled a lot with my identity.. especially since my dad was/is so against it. He didn’t talk to me for about three months after I came out, and we still don’t really talk about it. He doesn’t want to meet my girlfriends, if I marry a woman, he won’t be at my wedding, he’ll never visit me at home. It’s really hard to be treated like that by someone I still love unconditionally (yes, even though it’s hard for him to accept him, he still loves me with all his heart). I don’t know why he is the way he is, and I don’t think I’ll ever find out. The queer community helped me accept myself, they erased my doubts about being bisexual. I don’t think I would have ever come out if it wasn’t for the community.
What Is Something About The Queer Community And/Or Culture That Makes You Happy? Something You Find Joy Or Light In.
I’m active on bookstagram and on my blog I post monthly posts with queer books that are published that month. I try to feature a lot of queer books, just because I think it’s really important that people can recognise themselves in stories. I think one thing that happened recently is that a friend of mine (who’s queer himself) wasn’t much of a reader. I gave him What If It’s Us last year for his birthday and he absolutely loved it. I’ve been recommending him books for the past few months and he’s ordered a lot of them. I’m really happy that he has found that specific niche where he can recognise himself. Where not everything revolves around straight people. It makes my queer heart very happy to see him enjoying the stories I love so much aswell.
How Have You Grown Since Last Pride Month?
I’m not sure.. I think I’ve been talking more about queer books, since I started my blog in January. I’ve been reading a lot more queer books myself, discovering things I didn’t know myself, educating myself. And even at work I’ve been getting questions from other people that have encoutered something they didn’t understand and would like to understand.
When You Found A Label That Fit Or Realized You Were Queer In Some Way, Was Your Moment Of Realization A Magical Feeling Of Relief?
Not really.. Mostly because I think I’ve always kind of knew that I liked girls and labels aren’t really that important for me. I just like who I like and telling people I’m bisexual is just easier because people usually know what it means. I’ve never really had this moment where everything suddenly became clearer and I understood everything that had been happening.
Would You Say You’re At A Point Of Self-Discovery That You’ve Found Inner Peace With Your Gender And Sexual Identities?
I don’t know if my identity will ever change, I can’t say that with a 100% certainty, but for now probably yes. I’m happy with the way I identify now, I think it really represents who I am, at least a small part of me. The fact that my home situation isn’t as accepting as I always hoped really made me struggle to get where I am now. I used to think I would just not fall for women anymore, because if that wasn’t accepted by my family, than I’d rather wait until I maybe met a nice guy and fall for him instead. Over time I started to realise that I wasn’t going to be happy until I could be myself completely. I stopped hiding and started living (such a cliché omg). But I never want to say, hey this is who I am. I never hold people to their labels, because even though people identify as something at one time, their experiences in life might change the way they look at themselves or look at labels. I think that applies to myself too, things can change and while I’m happy with what I identify as now, I don’t think I’d say I’ve found inner peace per se.
How Are You Getting Into The Spirit Of Pride Month?
Because I’m so swamped at work I’m not going to go out and celebrate, but I’m going to read lots of queer books, recommend even more and write a lot of blog posts regarding queer books and maybe also queer issues.
I’m not going to tag anyone because I don’t want anyone to feel obligated to do this, and I know a few I want to tag, but they would definitely feel obligated. So if you want to do this, please act like I tagged you ❤