So this isn’t an easy post and I’ve thought long about whether I wanted to post this, especially because there are probably people outside of my bloglife that read this too (people from work, or other friends). But I felt like I needed to explain this to people who regularly read my blog, so here goes.
The first reason I haven’t been posting much is very simple. Work. I’ve had an incredibly busy couple of months. Full of bat monitoring, writing reports, helping other people yada yada yada. You probably know what it feels like, though not everyone might know what if feels like to look for bats in the middle of the night (I don’t blame you). I’ve had weeks where I just didn’t have the energy to do anything other that watching Netflix. I would also lay in my bed staring at the ceiling, trying to fall asleep, but being too tired. And not just physically, because overall that’s been pretty great, but mentally too.
Which takes me to my second point. I’ve been struggling lately, I’ve been kind of a recluse. I needed it for a while, even though I felt like I could definitely use some human company. I spent most of my free time gaming and talking to a few friends, but overall it’s been quiet. I’m definitely done with that now, and I want to get back to being social. So far it’s going okay.
For the past year or so people at home, at my home, have been dealing with health issues (including me) and we’re still figuring out how we’re dealing with it all and where our boundaries are. Hopefully we’ll all get good news soon and we can start putting things behind us, because I’m honestly getting pretty tired of all the back and forth.
I think the last thing that’s been on my mind is pretty intricate and easy at the same time. I’ve not been feeling like reading anymore. I don’t know if it’s the books, or if it’s me. I’ve just not had the energy to do anything about it. I don’t know if it’s a slump or anything worse, because, I’ve definitely been interested in books before all of this happened. And it’s not that I choose to do other things than reading, because I’d honestly rather read if I’m awake until 4 am anyway. It just all sucks, because if I don’t read, I don’t have reviews or maybe not even ideas for posts. I’m still struggling with the latter, so if you feel like there’s something you want to know about me, or think something would be a good post, let me know!
In the meantime I’ll do my best to get on top of it all, maybe me seeing everything will make it all easier. I’m also going to try to make a bulletjournal, because I do feel like I need structure in my life, and this might really help. If you know any awesome websites that could help with that, let me know 🙂
Last of all, to my readers and friends. Many of you have helped me over the past few months. I might have ghosted a few of you and let me say that that’s not what I mean to do.. I’ve just really been struggling with everything that happened and I never want to be a burden to anyone. I know that a bunch of you are going to say ‘Oh Michelle, you’ll never be a burden’, but it just doesn’t always feel like that. It’ll be okay eventually and I hope you’ll all still want to associate with me. Otherwise I’ll bake cookies and send gifts until you do again (I’m not below bribery).
I think the main thing I wanted to convey is that I’m going to be okay. Thanks to you all.